6 · reblog
Anonymous: Do you follow lolitafashionconfessions? I'm just curious about your opinions on the moderators as of late. Days ago they discussed 'fatty-chans', bringing up their measurements a bunch of times, and now they are having a fight over skin color after some comments they made on a picture... I feel like they are trying to be good people, but they are just not doing it in the right way or listening to others...

K follows that blog, A does not. So K has seen this all going down, and has withheld comment but since you asked we will share our thoughts on it. 

Firstly, our opinions on the moderators. A knows they spoke over the experiences of others with less privilege in the past and doesn’t approve, we did cover it once briefly here. I (K) however have stronger opinions about them and have actually said something to them in the past (anon). They obviously are very defensive about things and don’t seem to understand when their opinions are problematic, and when approached about the things they’ve said/done wrong they don’t handle it well. They have a habit of talking over other’s experiences and that doesn’t sit well with us.

As to the fatty-chan stuff, personally A and K both feel like reclaiming the word fatty-chan because 1. it is cute 2. being “fat” isn’t a thing we feel should be shamed. I (K) was mostly skimming those conversations but what I saw of it was not really supportive of different body types. They were speaking over the experiences of people they didn’t consider to be “fat” but that had felt shame for their weight in the past. No one can speak for the mindset of another and shouldn’t try to speak over them and deny their experiences because their personal opinion is that they aren’t fat or w/e. Again, I was skimming a lot of that so if you’d like me to cover it more I will go back and read it all. :)

On to the race discussion which appears to still be happening over there. We both just read the discussion that happened (3 asks at the point of this post). A noted that Shiro doesn’t seem to realize that these issues are larger than just lolita. Society as a whole, especially people who have internalized stereotypes about their own race, expect certain things from members of certain groups. This person mentioned they were black and that they felt that they were expected to be “gangster” or “swag”. That is an expectation that many people feel, even from their own race. IDK how many times I (K) have heard people say things like “wait….black lolitas? Goths? Anime lovers? ….” You fill in the blank. There is a pressure on different racial groups to fulfill certain stereotypes that those of us who are white (like A and I) will NEVER fully understand. The mod of that blog is white, I believe, and, because of that she doesn’t understand the pressure. The negative experiences of white people, whether it be because of their weight or their gender or w/e will never be the same as negative experiences based on your race. She THINKS she understands just like she thought she understood the experiences of trans* people because she had a trans* friend. 

Basically, to sum this up, we DON’T approve of the mods of lolitafashionconfessions behaving the way they do, talking over trans* people, POC, ect. It isn’t okay for anyone of any group to do that.

-A & K

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  1. feministlolita posted this